Excuse me sir, it appears you have a Van Gundy on your leg

One of my favorite sports moments. This was back when the Knicks-Heat playoff rivalry was in full force. I remember watching this game on TV when the diminutive Van Gundy inexplicably stormed the court to break up a fight between Larry Johnson and Alonzo Mourning. The results were hilarious. Every time I see Van Gundy, it brings back fond memories of this moment.

Wanted: New name for blog, inquire within

It has come to my attention there are numerous blogs that share our name. Therefore, this site has lost its cache and drastic measures must be taken. I welcome all 10 people who read this site to suggest in the comment section possible names for the blog.

Reasons why the Philadelphia 76ers would have been better off as a franchise if they had made the playoffs

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Get your blog on: Blogging 101 from the Blogmaster on That's Blogtastic which can be reached through blogspot.com or blogger.com.....Blog

So you are thinking about starting your own blog. You may say, "Blogmaster I know very little about blogging and I’m not that funny, interesting or opinionated." Well, I disagree with that self effacing statement. You may not be compelling enough to start your own TV show (you’re no Carlos Mencia) but you definitely deserve a blog. America would enjoy reading your opinions on Barry Bonds and steroids. In fact, America needs to hear your opinions. Because frankly when a controversial sports topic appears in the news I check my newspapers, I check the sports talk radio, and then naturally I would want check the blog of some dude who lives in his parents basement. I would like to give you some tips on starting on your own blog because I know from experience.

1. Secure a clever domain name: This should be an obscure pop culture reference that when it comes down to it isn’t very funny at all

2. Create a Proper Blogging atmosphere: I blog while listening to one of my seven ipods, watching Sportscenter on my mobile phone, and downloading my homework assignments from the University of Phoenix. Because if you're blogging you have to be hip with the technology.

3. Invite your friends to join in the blogging fun: The more the merrier. You and your friends are always getting into situations with hilarious results. This should be documented in blog form with plenty of inside jokes that no one can understand. Remember that time Goldenarm almost fought Bloggington Bear because Vadz made Bruno choke on wings at the YMFFL draft. That was so very blogworthy.

4. Market your blog: Alert your buddy list, prominently display link in your myspace profile, casually drop it into conversation. Pretty soon your blog will “tip” and you will have a social epidemic on your hands.


So there you go, I challenge you to start your own blog. There is plenty of room in the blogosphere for the both us. Just remember when that blog is up and running you must keep on bloggin’, blog up a storm, blog like there is no tomorrow, blog with passion, blog safe, and blog happy.

How can we detect who is on steroids? Enlist the help of the Blogmaster's dad.

Chuck Klosterman (very entertaining writer, you should read his books) recently weighed in on steroids and the Barry Bonds homerun chase. In the ESPN Magazine article, he questions why the public was oblivious to the possibility of steroid use to explain the 1998 homerun race when McGwire “looked like a bipedal Clydesdale swinging an elm tree” and Sosa “happened to be a 29 year old man with acne.” I’ll tell you someone who was not fooled by the rampant use of steroids in baseball, the Blogmaster’s dad. As early as 1990 my dad was questioning many players’ new found bulk with allegations of steroid use.

Back in the early 90’s, my favorite baseball player was Lenny Dykstra, known affectionately by Harry Kalas as “The Dude” or “Nails.” I had his entire batting routine perfected. I would load my mouth full of grapes spitting juice like the tobacco chewing players of the day. I would rest the bat between my legs as I carefully applied my imaginary batting gloves. When watching games with my Dad, he would always scoff at Dykstra’s new found girth (he had been quite skinny in his NY Mets days) claiming he was on steroids. I passionately defended my hero (this was at a time when I still experienced emotions) telling my dad about the advancements in weight training and nutrition. But it turns out he was probably right. My dad also claimed that he accused a co-worker of steroid use which was vehemently denied. Years later, this co-worker would confess that he was indeed using steroids for many years.

If Bonds and other players like Dykstra were passing tests for many years, it is obvious that MLB’s tests cannot detect certain steroids. I would suggest Selig enlist the help of my dad’s discerning steroid detecting eye to end this controversy once and for all.

Mourning the release of Tomas Perez, utility man extraordinaire

After watching the first couple games of the Phillies season, something seemed different about this year's squad. Was it the lack of clutch hitting? No, that was still there. Was it the starters never making it past the 6th inning? No, that was also the same. Was it the questionable managerial decisions? Nope that wasn't it. Then it dawned on me. Where was Tomas Perez? I checked the roster and sure enough he wasn't on it. He had been released on Sunday and was now with the Devil Rays.

Tomas Perez was all things to all men. He averaged a respectable 205 AB, .249 BA, and 3 HR over his 6 year career (a length of service that ranked only behind Abreu and Wolf) and contributed the occasional clutch pinch hit or dazzling defensive play. He was known for his hilarious clubhouse antics. Most famous for giving the old shaving cream to the face to the player of the game being interviewed by Harry Kalas. Tomas Perez didn't watch the game from the dugout bench. He attentively leaned by the dugout entrance closely following the game and congratulating players. Tomas Perez didn't play one position, he played 8 positions over his career (only has yet to catch in the MLB). They say Gene Roddenbery got the idea for Star Trek from Tomas Perez talking in his sleep. Or maybe that was Bill Brasky, I'm not sure but I am sure that I will miss Tomas Perez this baseball season.

Are you surprised at my tears? Strong men also cry. Strong men....also...cry.

Last night was the debut of Bonds on Bonds, a new ESPN reality show that will chronicle Bonds' chase at homerun history. I caught the end of the show where Bonds breaks down and cries about the media and fans' treatment of him. It seemed pretty genuine (unless he is a great fake crier, I myself find it very hard to fake cry). Sensitive Bonds crying caused me to feel a slight twinge of sorrow for the big headed man. He is constantly heckled from stadium to stadium with people throwing plastic syringes at him (hilarious). He has to answer questions about the new book Game of Shadows which exposes his steroid use. Mark McGwire probably benefited as much from steroids as Bonds but was not exposed while he was playing and subsequently did not feel the fan and media wrath.

I often wonder how I would handle situations like this if I was a professional athlete. If I were Bonds, I would have opened Bonds on Bonds curled up on the couch deeply engrossed in the Game of Shadows. I would have stated that it is a great read. One of the best books of the year. Some of the best fiction I have read in the while.