Dude, where's my glove?

I was reading the newspaper with the Phillies game on when broadcaster Scott Graham began discussing the life story of recently signed Brewers pitcher Joe Winkelsas. Color man Chris Wheeler seemed disinterested in the story but I was enthralled. Winkelsas was addicted to marijuana. He once played baseball for a team that only played road games. He was working as a garbage man before signing with the Brewers. Joe Winkelsas was my new favorite player. I immediately sprang to the computer where I tried to find some more information on the middle reliever. I was rewarded with this amazing article from his days as an Atlanta Brave. I also found this more recent article. Here are some highlights from the articles.

Winkelsas is a simple man:

“Winkelsas loved two things when he entered the Braves farm system as a free agent in 1996: baseball and marijuana. But probably in the reverse order.”

He definitely thought of this while high:

"This game is nothing but fellowship," Winkelsas said. "It's nothing but change. It's a game of failure. . . . Everything you go through in life is taught in this game."

I love how the journalists can’t help themselves from using marijuana puns:

“His career ERA in the big leagues was 54.00. But the ERA wasn’t the only thing about Winkelsas that was high.”
“This time, Winkelsas isn’t going to let his opportunity go up in smoke.”

Winkelsas makes a strong case for employment in the garbage collection industry:

“I started to gain some strength, lifting and dragging things through the snow,” Winkelsas told the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel. “It was like physical therapy that I got paid for.”

Winkelsas at rock bottom:

“He can see himself coming home from another bar fight at 4 a.m. --- drunk, blood on his face. Bacon grease on the corner of his mouth from eating at a restaurant whose name he can't even remember. Hair all messed up. Drool everywhere.”

What drove Winkelsas to drugs:

“His parents had told him they wed before he was born, but they had married three years after his birth. This discovery led to an even more shocking one: The man he knew all his life as his biological father had actually adopted him. He met his biological father, Joe Privitera, through a phone call at age 16. In the confusion, Joe Winkelsas smoked his first joint.”