Friday, April 14, 2006

How can we detect who is on steroids? Enlist the help of the Blogmaster's dad.


Chuck Klosterman (very entertaining writer, you should read his books) recently weighed in on steroids and the Barry Bonds homerun chase. In the ESPN Magazine article, he questions why the public was oblivious to the possibility of steroid use to explain the 1998 homerun race when McGwire “looked like a bipedal Clydesdale swinging an elm tree” and Sosa “happened to be a 29 year old man with acne.” I’ll tell you someone who was not fooled by the rampant use of steroids in baseball, the Blogmaster’s dad. As early as 1990 my dad was questioning many players’ new found bulk with allegations of steroid use.

Back in the early 90’s, my favorite baseball player was Lenny Dykstra, known affectionately by Harry Kalas as “The Dude” or “Nails.” I had his entire batting routine perfected. I would load my mouth full of grapes spitting juice like the tobacco chewing players of the day. I would rest the bat between my legs as I carefully applied my imaginary batting gloves. When watching games with my Dad, he would always scoff at Dykstra’s new found girth (he had been quite skinny in his NY Mets days) claiming he was on steroids. I passionately defended my hero (this was at a time when I still experienced emotions) telling my dad about the advancements in weight training and nutrition. But it turns out he was probably right. My dad also claimed that he accused a co-worker of steroid use which was vehemently denied. Years later, this co-worker would confess that he was indeed using steroids for many years.

If Bonds and other players like Dykstra were passing tests for many years, it is obvious that MLB’s tests cannot detect certain steroids. I would suggest Selig enlist the help of my dad’s discerning steroid detecting eye to end this controversy once and for all.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've got an opinion...your dad is a crazy old man. He thinks everyone who has any bit of muscle mass is on the "juice." He even accused a wide-eyed Lavinthal of being on the stuff. Your blog has no relevance in today's society. You and your father are social outcasts and don't like other humans.

11:36 AM  
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